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Rose and Her Doctor

April 2010

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Rose quizical

Rude and Not Ginger

I recently was completely rude to a brilliant author whose fan fiction I really admire. It is pretty easy to miss the mark when you're aiming at the wrong target. I was aiming to share myself, my feelings and my passion about Rose and the Doctor, but I talked to this author about her characters and story in particular, and what my wishes for them were, which was a mistake. Luckily the author was kind enough to give me feedback that I was being inappropriate. I wrote back to apologize, but it probably sounded pretty lame. What could I possibly say? "Sorry that I told you what I wanted to have happen in your story in such a way that you thought I was telling you what I wanted you to do with your characters." Yeah, it was that bad.

Even though I think she knew that I didn't expect her to be influenced by what I wanted to have happen, what did I think she should have done with my unsolicited hopes for her characters?  Was I expecting that she'd talk with me about what "her Rose" was feeling? Was I expecting that she'd talk to me about what she planned to do with her characters and why? Was I expecting her to really care about what I, a complete stranger, wished for her Rose and Doctor? 

At a certain point it all gets so personal. Well anyway it does for me. Rose and the Doctor are amazingly important to me in ways I am still trying to figure out. When I was in high school, I read Lord of the Rings and it blew me away. It was so real. (Well, it still is, too!) For whatever reasons, Rose and the Doctor have hit me as hard at 46 as LotR hit me back then, fueled in large part by the fabulous fan fiction I have read here and on Teaspoon.

Anyway, I do want to talk about Rose and the Doctor and figure out what they mean to me. I don't foresee myself writing fan fiction, since I take forever to write anything, I've no plot ideas, no innate ability to remember and describe sensory experiences, not much sense for timing or tension or flow, and in general lack the tell tale characteristic of writers who actually write because they can't help it. I have only once written because I had to,  resulting in a little 2 chapter story that quickly resolves the tension between Ten2 and Rose after Journey's End. 

So, I think I'll stick to reading other people's fan fiction. And I'll leave comments, because I want to be encouraging and express my gratitude towards the many fine authors who craft such beautiful stories for me to read -- for free! What a gift. But I think I won't "talk Rose and the Doctor" anywhere but here. I was sad to have inadvertantly insulted someone who had given such a fine gift of her writing to me (and whomever else cared to read her story). I want to be sure I don't make the same mistake again. I do really seem to need to talk about Rose and the Doctor, however. So I guess that is what I'll be doing here - writing about them, maybe about how other people see them, how I see them, and, through it all, about myself.  


Personally, I wouldn't have got upset or irritated if you'd talked to me about what Rose and the Doctor were feeling. Even if they're in my fic, I don't feel like they're *mine* -- they belong to all of us. And I think that the people who are passionate about Rose and the Doctor really have something important to contribute. I love the insights that you've shared with me.

Thanks, I really appreciate that. You're always so generous. I love your Rose and her Doctor, as you know, and I love talking Rose and Doctor with you.